Darkest hours

Dear my Longing,

I come to you tonight confessing my regrets,
coming to you naked and raw.
These are no scars I present to you,
They are wounds that don't seem to heal.

Would you forgive me for running from you?

I have been running from true love,
only to get myself knocked down.
Suicidal thoughts rush through my mind daily without ceasing, I am at the point where I cannot see the future, Im ruined.

Who am I to ask you to save me once again?
When I am as tiny as a grain of sand in Your hands.
Who am I to say "help" when all I've done is run and hide my face from you?
Who am I fooling when you alone have eyes to see through all?

So why do I run when you are the only one who can set me free?
My tongue can fool thousands, my lies, tens of thousands, but my life can never fool You.

Not that I have murdered neither have i committed the crimes of this world. But the one thing I am found guilty of is the worst of all sins, that is, living my life away from You.

No, the worst of all sins I have discovered is not realizing you had been there all along...

I can't go on fighting alone, What would you do to me?
My heart yearns for freedom, my heart will never deny your love, my tongue will not deny your existence, but my life denies all that you have done...

If only I was never born, then "Romans" will never be true...